From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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