just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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