I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
