I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
