Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I am one with the molecules
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
