Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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