took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
