I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
