THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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