Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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