he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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