I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
