I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
