That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
