Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
