her vagine was all disorganized.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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