I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Too much gin, very little bucket
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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