My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
