I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
