During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
did i walk over a car last night?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
