laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
