how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
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