Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
