he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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