If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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