He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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