Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm at about main and main street
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
