Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
