yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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