I smell stomach acid.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
