hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
