Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
