Where are you?
In a non slutty way
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
