I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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