We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
