Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
