The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
