Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
