My brain says no but my pants say off.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
