It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
