# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
