"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
