it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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