I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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