can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
