the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
