So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
