So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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