please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
tequila makes me forget i have legs
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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