Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
